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Is It Easy To Forgive?

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We always hear people advising us to forgive, let it go.. move on. I also passed through such situation where I thought, Is it really easy to overlook someone’s mistake? We all are a human being, and no one is perfect, we all make mistakes. We can quickly forget and forgive routine mistakes, we let go them as they don’t impact on our life or feelings for long but what if our feelings, trust got shattered? For me when it comes to emotions, it is tough! Can a word sorry heal all the pain and shattered feelings? No definitely not! Maybe, the person who is asking for forgiveness can feel serenity but not that person whom they bothered by their deeds. I usually ask myself what is the meaning of forgiveness? To say it’s ok or something more than that, after forgiving someone do we actually feel peace without any hard feelings?

Forgiveness is a healing process means releasing the anger, hatred, bitterness and negative feelings that we have been carrying around for someone. After forgiving them accept them with love, trust and move forward in life.

When my kid makes some mistake and says sorry, I forgive her, as I know there is no intention to give pain or bother anyone, but yeah I always teach her don’t use word ‘sorry’ as a weapon as one can tolerate your mistakes for once or twice not always. The meaning of sorry is not to repeat the same mistake. Don’t take word sorry for granted otherwise you will lose faith. How about us? Sometimes we make some mistakes repeatedly that hurts even the person whom we are hurting tries hard to give us wake-up call they try their best to stop us.  At that time we don’t think how it will impact on us or our beloved one, we leave our conscious behind. Our ego starts driving everything, One day when we realize what we were doing, we feel shame and ask for forgiveness. The person who is shattered say it’s ok as they don’t want us to feel the same pain, they don’t want to shatter us in the same way,  they don’t want to go in their deep memories those bitter memories still bother them.

Can we forgive ourselves? What about that guilt, pain which our consciousness is taking after realizing what we did? True, we can’t look into our eyes we can’t face that person. One of my friends asked me the same. I said repent is the best remedy in this situation. They looked me with surprise asked what? People always say don’t repent it gives disappointment, wasting time on the past and you are telling me to repent ? I said yes they are right at their place as if we are expressing repentance only by our words but not by our learning. It’s just wasting time over past and taking disappointments by lingering on the issue. The Pain of what happened is inevitable but to control that pain is only in our hands, by making our response similar to our feelings. Meet hatred with love.

When you hurt someone you apologize, but apologies can’t fulfill whatever they lost, their self-respect, shattered feelings most of all their trust, you may get forgiveness but not the same confidence. Whenever you confront that person they will always think can I count on this person the same way I did before, and it will remind them all the pain they tolerated. The pain runs deep inside the heart. Sorry, can’t remove scars. If you like to gain someone’s love and trust again, replace your ego with consciousness, make them happy with your behavior. A little smile on their face can change a lot, It will melt their anger and make them realize sorry is just not only a word for you it carries a lot. Their love, smile, and peace matters to you, your contentment. Every time you will see that person is smiling in front of you it will make you feel calm & fulfilling above all this little step will take us to their heart by passing through the bridge of trust!

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-Kranti